


Nothing

by i_amtheoutlaw



Series: Merthur Drabbles [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Post 5X13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:17:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1852702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amtheoutlaw/pseuds/i_amtheoutlaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin kills a butterfly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> For the Camelot_land prompt "To destroy is still the strongest instinct in nature." - Max Beerbohm

Merlin couldn’t believe he was gone. He sat for what felt like days without moving a muscle. He just stared out over the water, and waited for the calm that was surrounding him to break. It never did.

He didn’t move until Percival found him, and even then it was just to turn his head. Just so he could look at the knight. Merlin couldn’t say it, couldn’t even confirm it with a nod. He just let Percival take in the sight of him. The wrecked mess of what was left. He knew that the knight would know. 

Merlin didn’t feel like himself anymore. He felt torn up, and primal, barely human. His mind was a mess of pain and aching memories and regret. He could barely think, and he had no clue what to do.

All Merlin really knew, was that he wanted nothing to do with another person ever again. 

After a few hours, Percival tried to talk to him, but none of the words really got through. They just fell into the mess of his mind and made him more confused, angrier. 

Eventually, Percival left him. Merlin had never been so grateful to be rid of a friend.

Merlin blinked and it was night. The moon and stars reflecting in the ever-calm water. 

A butterfly, it was blue and black, landed on Merlin’s shoulder. He turned and eyeballed it.

Merlin felt nothing, and wondered if that was what babies felt when they were first brought into this world. If before their purpose was known, if the babe would just write such a beautiful, purposeful insect off as nothing.

The butterfly seemed to pause, its wings arched behind it, and Merlin watched it out of the corner of his eye for a few moments, until it fluttered its wings a few times and then took off again.

Merlin continued to watch it, it flew high, then low as it fluttered carelessly around.

Merlin waited for the beauty of it to appear, to swoop in suddenly, and remind him that something mattered. 

But as the butterfly started to drift further and further away, Merlin realized that it didn’t matter, and until he learned the purpose of things in this world without Arthur in it, then nothing ever would.

The butterfly was nearly out of sight when Merlin finally stood and raised an outstretched arm at it. His magic was more than grateful to supply.

He dropped his arm and watched as the little body alit with red hot flames. The burning quickly traveled up its wings until there was nothing left.

Merlin didn’t feel any better and he didn’t feel any worse.

He felt nothing.


End file.
